


Would You Be So Kind

by purecamp



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Like, M/M, Oh My God, also its based off the song by dodie!!, no joke this is pure fluff, shalaska
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-20 10:02:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12430452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purecamp/pseuds/purecamp
Summary: justin feels funny, and he feels funny because he’s in love. aaron feels funny, and he also feels funny because he’s in love. based off the dodie clark song





	Would You Be So Kind

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Okay, I admit it. I have a problem.  
> Also, this is based off Dodie Clark’s Would You Be So Kind, I recommend you listen bc its so twinkly and cute.  
> Plot twist – the reason I prefer writing as Sharon/Sharon-centric is because I am actually Sharon Needles and as well all know, Sharon Needles is a narcissistic fuck who both loves and hates herself. That’s why I do POV-switches, it’s to throw you all off my scent ;) Enjoy, and let me know what you thought!
> 
> ^^ this is the artificialqueens a/n that i wrote at the time. this was written and posted oct 17th 2016

I have a question  
It might seem strange  
How are your lungs  
Are they in pain

This year has been an interesting one for Aaron, that’s for sure. Ever since he met Justin - his literal twin in terms of opinions, humour and drag – his head, chest and lungs just haven’t felt the same. First of all, he’s had this constant headache. Not the kind he gets from being a PBR princess; although he does get those far too often. This headache is day and night, nonstop, yet for some strange reason that can only be accredited to a higher (lower?) being like Satan, he likes it. It keeps him awake into the early hours of the morning, grinning stupidly into his pillow. It keeps him going all through the day, firing jokes and singing snippets of songs in a deliriously happy way.

Secondly, his chest isn’t quite right either. His main cardiac organ has suddenly decided to join a death metal band, and consequently keeps thrashing and thudding and pounding, which feels strange, and only happens when Justin is around. It beats so loudly that he’s almost positive you can see it; just like in the cartoons he used to watch, when a heart-shaped lump bulges in and out of the character’s chest. Incessant beats like that make his skin feel warm and his face flush crimson, which is painfully obvious against his bleached hair and pale complexion.

And third, his lungs must be taking on the toll of all those cigarettes, because they’re going into overdrive along with his heart. Justin smiles or laughs, and his lungs start to tighten and constrict him, only letting him take short, juddering breaths that make him sound like an idiotic human motorcycle. It’s dumb, really, and he has no idea why it’s even happening, but he’s curious to see if he’s the only one.

‘Cause mine are aching  
Think I know why  
I kinda like it though  
You wanna try

Maybe Justin’s lying about not knowing what’s causing his weird head-chest-lung malfunctions. He has a sneaking suspicion as to why they only happen when Aaron’s around, but who can blame him?

Aaron is like a dream. Justin just wants to see him; marvel at the adorable dimple in his chin, the spectrum of colours in his oceanic eyes, the valleys in his cheekbones, the little kinks in his hair. In and out of drag, Aaron is a masterpiece, and like all masterpieces should be, Justin wants to pin him against a wall.

God, he hopes Aaron feels the same way. Wouldn’t it be amazing if Aaron had the same little feelings, the twinges and the aching and the constant yet pleasing rush that colours his cheeks like a teenager?

He even knows what Aaron would say if he said that to his face. “Leave your God out of this!”

He says it all the time, and Justin likes to mouth it behind his back to make people laugh, since he’s so predictable. Well, either he’s predictable, or they’ve been spending too much time together.

Thinking about it, it’s most likely the latter. They tried to cook together last night after performing at the Blue Moon. They didn’t even de-drag, ended up doubled over with tears streaming down their faces amidst their cackles, burning the noodles in the microwave and forgetting the flavour packets in the general hysteria. Most of their makeup had finished in the creases beneath their eyes, and whilst Justin couldn’t speak for himself, Aaron looked impossibly sexy with mascara and eyeliner streaked under his eyes and on his cheeks.

Oh would you be  
So kind  
As to fall in love with me, you see  
I’m trying

After accepting that okay, maybe (just maybe) Aaron is kinda-sorta-probably-definitely-in-love-with-Justin, he expected the heart palpitations and flushes of heat to dissipate like a quick bout of summer rainfall. However, this was not the case. In fact, it was the complete opposite, and it’s driving him nuts.

Because now, not only does he see Justin casually leaning against the bar and notices the way his arm muscles move and his throat bobs when he speaks, he knows why it’s affecting him. Aaron Coady has proudly proclaimed many times that he is a supporter of gay divorce, and whilst saying he wants to marry Justin is a stretch, something about spending the rest of his nights curled up against him doesn’t sound too bad right about now.

The deeper he allows himself to fall – or rather, the deeper he falls without being able to even stop himself – the more he realises that his chances of having Justin like him are very low. A total of 305,840 people live in Pittsburgh, and assuming half of them are male, he has a 1 in 152,920 of being the object of Justin’s desire. And Aaron has never really been “desirable” in any sense of the word.

Even his drag isn’t sexy; he mocks the very idea of it. Sexy? No, over the top to the point where it’s plainly obvious that his intention is to pick fun at society’s, and most of the LGBTQ+ community’s, perception of sexy. Justin does sexy perfectly, at least in Aaron’s eyes.

I know you know that I like you  
But that’s not enough  
So if you will  
Please fall in love

Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Justin is so stupid! God, he could just punch himself in the face. Hell, it wouldn’t make his skin any less red, he may as well go for it.

Who else would be dumb enough to say something like that? Aaron was going off on one of his intelligent rambles again, about the trials and tribulations of ‘sexy’ and how if you can pull off ‘sexy’ then you’re set, but if you’re like him and the closest you can get to ‘sexy’ is making a mockery of it…

Justin loves these rants, he really does. Aaron’s voice is rasping and extremely satisfying to listen to, and the way he uses language is just heavenly, but all he can think about during this one is but you can pull off sexy! You are sexy! He well and truly believes it too, even if Aaron doesn’t. Justin likes doing sexy, looking and dressing it even with Aaron’s critiques on how really, ‘sexy’ is subjective.

In that case, Aaron is sexy. If sexy is subjective, and Justin is the subject…

Aaron blinks, and Justin feels his face burn an unnatural shade of scarlet. Did he just admit, out loud, in front of Aaron and friends, that he likes him?

Fuck. He neutralizes his expression as quick as he can, noticing that Aaron has looked away and struck up conversation with someone else. That’s good; he’s not bothered by it. That’s bad; he hasn’t made a long soliloquy about how he loves him, which obviously means the idea of being romantic with him makes him feel disgusted.

Great. Justin can’t even cross Aaron’s mind romantically without making him want to retch. Oh Lord, he’s such a fucking mess.

I think it’s only fair  
There’s gotta be some butterflies somewhere – wanna share  
Cause I like you  
But that’s not enough

There’s no point lying. When Justin calls him sexy, Aaron’s heart does about a thousand death-drops in under a second. But it’s so clear from the embarrassment on his face that he meant it in a friendly way, like an innocent compliment, and he’s reading way too far into it. He speedily turns away, launching into a conversation with the bartender to try and quell the rosy colour travelling from the roots of his hair all the way down to his neck. Of course it doesn’t work, but at least now no one will suspect him of liking Justin.

He’s not sure why it has to be such a secret, because he wants the whole world to know how fucking wonderful Justin Honard is, but he only wants to shout about it once Justin is his, so he can have the satisfaction of knowing the world loves him but not in the way he does.

Chancing a look, Aaron moves his head slightly to see Justin. He’s stood with his phone, reading something. He’s the only person Aaron knows who looks flawless even in shitty phone lighting, a talent he will never possess. His heart lifted but his head heavier, he looks away and continues on with his conversation.

So if you will

Now they can’t even look at each other, and it’s all Justin’s fault. If it wasn’t for him and his big mouth, maybe everything would be okay and they’d be back together in Aaron’s shoddy kitchen, failing pathetically at making ramen together. Maybe they’d be back to falling asleep on the floor and the couch before they even remembered to de-drag. Maybe they’d be back to calling each other Shannon Noodles and Nebraska Lightningshit.

But maybe – and this is a crazy idea if Justin’s ever had one – love isn’t always patient and sometimes it takes one person saying “I’ve had enough of this dancing around” for it to get going. Maybe it takes a little bit of work and participation to really make love happen the way it’s supposed to. Maybe love just needs a little nudge every now and then, like we all do.

Maybe love is meant to a vessel, not the entire crew.

Please fall in love with me

Aaron swings the door open, ready to march out and tell Justin that he’s had it with the hiding and the games, that he loves him and he doesn’t care what anyone else thinks because love works in mysterious ways and so do they, Justin and Aaron together, two failed messy drag queens living in a fucked-up city hoping that maybe their hearts will connect in a way that makes Pittsburgh feel like Venice –

And Justin is outside the door, his fist hovering in the air with the ghost of a knock, looking shell-shocked and determined and relieved at the same time.

Aaron doesn’t even need to say anything, and neither does Justin. He grabs him by the t-shirt and pulls him into his crappy apartment, feeling the musty carpet beneath their feet and tripping over cheap chairs and tables as they make their way to somewhere, anywhere, that doesn’t feel so exposed. The door slams shut with a kick from someone’s foot, although neither is sure who, and the bang it makes brings them back to reality. They’re entangled in each other’s arms, saying nothing but panting and staring into each other’s eyes. Mapping out the curves and dips and marks on each other’s faces.

Silence is the best kind of music. Justin kisses Aaron; slow and soft at first, languid and leisurely. A million words, a million thoughts and feelings instantly get shared in just one, long kiss, and it feels like the whole world has taken a collective breath. When Aaron quickens the past, begging for the intensity to get even high, Justin laughs.

“You whore.” He whispers.

“Takes one to know one.” Aaron fires back.

The kiss resumes, hungrier than before.

Oh would you be  
So kind  
As to fall in love with me, you see  
I’m trying  
I know you know that I like you  
But that’s not enough  
So if you will  
Please fall in love  
I think it’s only fair  
There’s gotta be some butterflies somewhere – wanna share  
Cause I like you  
But that’s not enough  
So if you will  
Please fall in love with me


End file.
